ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
