I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
