That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
