He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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