is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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