Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
