that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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