For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
