Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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