naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
MIDGETS
????
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
