I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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