i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it glows. i had to have it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
