Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
