i always forget guys have bellybuttons
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He felt like a one man threesome
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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