So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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