am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
