matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
