I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't put those talents on a resume
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
