You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
