Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
farters have to be the big spoon...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
