Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Still dying that you shit outside
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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