I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i used baking grease as lip gloss
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
