hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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