so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
