He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
smell my finger.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
