It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
