it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
