the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
