Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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