Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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