You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
