There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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