if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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