You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
