absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
