I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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