oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
