alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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