Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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