Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
