problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
a search helicopter?!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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