There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
