Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
