Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
