Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
