My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
