I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
