the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ok first of all what the fuck
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
