i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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