Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
